I am a Google lover. That doesn't make me unique, in fact I don't know anyone who doesn't love Google, or at least appreciate the company for its continually bringing innovative search tools to the internet. I actually can't imagine how I browsed the internet- and the world!- before there was Google...how did we survive?

I like that Google rolls out new search tools and services even while they are still in test. This makes me feel as if I am helping them to perfect their goods; that I am integrated into their system. Google has helped me, so I am happy to help them. And, doing so makes me feel a little bit like an early adopter, without having to purchase anything.

So Google is constantly updating and improving their systems and services and perhaps their systems will always be in a "test phase". I like that...everyone and thing is constantly evolving and improving, so why not be transparant about it, and make it a selling point....a company that is on its toes all of the time versus static.

I wonder, in moving forward, whether a certain element of their Gmail system will ever be tweaked and "improved"; whether anyone else has the same issues that I do with Gmail chat...

I use Gmail as my personal email account. Gmail has a chat feature built right into its email interface (if that is the correct verbiage). When you log into your email account, you are also automatically logging into your chat room. You can then see which other Gmailers listed in your chat room are online and able to chat or not (via red, green and orange light system).

I have never been a big Instant Messanger kind of gal. Maybe it had something to do with me not being able to deal (in good conscience) with yet one more form of distraction (to which I am highly susceptible). Or maybe the idea of signing up for another online account just seemed like an effort. Whatever the reason, I never really got into IMing. Gmail's chatroom is right there at my fingertips, no extra effort required.

But the thing with Gmail chat is that you have no ability to filter your contact list, because anyone who you have ever emailed, who is also a Gmailer, is on your list. I literally feel as if I am sitting in the same room with a bunch of different people with whom I have emailed for whatever reason at some point in my recent past. As you can imagine, some of the people within my list are closer to me than others.

This leads me to feel a mix of eagerness and awkwardness. If someone I have had minimal contact with has his/her green light on, I feel like I am caught in the awkward silence of a bad conversation. We can both see that the other person is there, but we have nothing to say. We shouldn't have to have anything to say, except for the fact that we are both in the same online "room".

I realize that I can easily change my chat status from active (green) to red (offline) or orange (away from gmail), if I really want to rid myself of the awkward chat room silence. But that would mean that actual Gmail friends would not know that I was available. And I don't necesarily want that, as I am always eager to talk to them.

Because I feel compelled to chat with my real friends, and at a much more incessant level than I would contact them via regular email. And usually it is for no reason. And, as you can imagine, I welcome their spontaneous, irrelevant chats to me as well.

It is kind of like the "I must make a call because I can" cell phone phenomenon--- that because you have your cell phone on you at all times, you feel compelled to take it out and give someone a call; to make use of your time most efficiently, or to just fill in "empty" time. The idea of doing something ordinary, like walking around town, without inputting some form of electrical stimulus (ipod, cell phone) into your system has become a bit of a foreign phenomenon.

I think that chatting is the parallel of sending an evite versus handwriting an invitation. Texting versus picking up the phone. It is just plain easier to chat; low hanging fruit. It is remarkable how low our thresholds can go.

But, I think that until Gmail makes any significant changes to its chat room set up, I need to make some changes myself. I am going to forgo a level of distraction in order to create a stronger sense of anonymity. I'm going to switch on my red light...I'm going to wait and speak when I actually have something to say. I'll be like a fly on the wall...I can see them, but they can't see me.